Citibank Senators, Chevron Representatives

Photo by Duncan Lock

Last week’s Supreme Court ruling may be the biggest political event of my life so far. 

The United States Supreme Court ruled that the government can no longer limit corporate spending on political campaigns and elections because doing so would violate corporations’ constitutional rights to free speech.  Read the full opinion here.  Or check out some news/opinion articles here or here or here.

Only time will tell how bad this ruling ends up being for the American people.  But here’s a thought.  Remember the good ol’ days, before college football bowl games were corporate sponsored — before the Fiesta Bowl became the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl?   Or when the University of Texas at Austin School of Business wasn’t named after a college dropout who sold cars?

Here’s where we’re headed:

• Microsoft Washington State Senator X
• The Michael Bloomberg Senator from New York
• Exxon Corporation Emissions Trade Proposal
• The Michael Dell Healthcare Bill
• The Warren Edward Buffet Federal Supreme Court Building
• PhRMA 2012 Presidential campaign

And I thought it was wrong that Ross Perot could run for President of the United States in 1992 and 1996 because he had the money to do so,  but an ordinary non-rich public servant wouldn’t stand a chance no matter how qualified.  Naive, wasn’t I?

Christianity and Tragedy

I’m still floored over Pat Robertson’s comments this week about the cause of the 7.0 earthquake that devastated Haiti:

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti … they were under the heel of the French, uh, you know, Napoleon the third and whatever … and they got together and swore a pact to the devil, they said, we will serve you, if you get us free from the Prince. True story.” 

Don’t know what pact Robertson is referencing?  I didn’t either.  But Thomas Rogers explains for Salon readers here.  And “the devil” has responded by publishing a letter to Pat Robertson — read it here.

I’m still flummoxed. 

Robertson’s comments remind me of Reverend Billy Graham’s son Franklin — also a reverend — who had this to say about Hurricane Katrina in 2005:

“This is one wicked city, OK?  It’s known for Mardi Gras, for Satan worship.  It’s known for sex perversion.  It’s known for every type of drugs and alcohol and the orgies and all of these things that go on down there in New Orleans… There’s been a black spiritual cloud over New Orleans for years. ”

Implying, of course, that God targeted New Orleans for its sinful nature.  (Before I go on, I must applaud Rev. Graham’s current involvement with Samaritan’s Purse who are working hard to provide relief to the Haitian earthquake victims.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean he feels any differently about God targeting sinful places.)  

Reverend John Hagee said God sent the hurricane to New Orleans due to a scheduled Gay Pride Parade.

And let’s not forget the Asshole from Kansas (whose name I will not write) who said the 2004 Asian tsunami was God’s punishment blah blah blah homosexuals & prostitution. Other religious leaders proclaimed the tsunami was God’s response to Thailand’s thriving sex trade.

I can’t believe that God — a loving God anyway — would demolish so much & kill so many because s/he was mad about specific human behaviors.  Why not just punish prostitutes if you must?  Or make gay people suddenly repelled by one another?  Why kill innocent people?  Children?  The unborn?  Devoted religious followers who have no control over commerce or homosexuality or gay parades or whatever?   I am not buying it. 

And I don’t think that Graham or Robertson or the Asshole do either.  Know why?  Cuz there have been gay pride parades for decades now.  Austin, Texas didn’t catch on fire, nor get eaten by grasshoppers, nor get destroyed by tornadoes, tsunamis, etc.  Neither did Atlanta.  Or New York.  Or Seattle. Or San Francisco. Or Paris.  Or Toronto….

Furthermore, there’s prostitution everywhere.  It was legal in Amsterdam.  No major national disasters there.  As for voodoo — again.  Everywhere.   And not every person in a certain place practices voo doo.  (And really, voo doo isn’t devil worship anyway.  Haitian vodou combines West African religion with Roman Catholic Christianity.)

So why do some of these religious guys come out & blame large-scale natural disasters on large-scale sinfulness?  I’m beginning wonder if these “wrath of God” explanations are really attempts to detract from discussions of science. 

• Why did Katrina hit New Orleans?  Science.
• 2004 Asian Tsunami? Science.
• Haiti earthquake?  Plate techtonics, aka SCIENCE.
• Even HIV= Science.

I wonder when they’ll start blaming tornadoes, floods, Climate Change, diabetes, cancer, aging, and poverty on God too?  Dangerous, dangerous stuff folks.

Angry much?

When I check the stats on this blog, I can see what search terms people used in WordPress to navigate here. 

In addition to the inevitable Monday morning “Tony Romo crying” during football season,  the following terms are overwhelmingly popular:

• angry tiger
• angry people
• angry
• angry people pictures

People searching for these terms are landing here due to the tags in my “Angry People Think Better” article & one of the “Things That Are Wrong” posts that features a pissed off looking cat with a slice of cheese on his head.  I doubt this is what you really want.

So please tell me what you’re looking for!  If you came here searching for angry stuff, leave me a comment so I can figure out what everybody’s so interested in.  Thanks!

OMG! Why did they let him open his mouth?

Copyright, Larry D. Moore

From CNN — “[It's] like putting a Twinkie at the end of a treadmill and saying, ‘You can only have a bite,’ ” testified Paul Katami, one of the [Prop 8 challenge] plaintiffs. “And you want the whole thing. … All I want is to be married.” 

Lesbian reactions:  

• Of course a gay man had to work the word “twink” in there somewhere.
• Not what I would’ve said.
• OMG
• Jesus
• F&*K
• WTF?
• Twinky on a treadmill?  Jesus.
• Where did they find this guy?
• Great way to demonstrate the IMPORTANCE of gay marriage.
• Twinkies + treadmill + biting? Thanks. 
• Way to represent, bro.
• Game over.

As CNN points out, some legal folks are referring to this case as the GLBT Brown v. Board.  And he said THAT?  

Looks like I’ll be calling in drunk to work tomorrow. 

Gotcha Media

Oh boy, they sure got me today!  Got me ROFL, actually.

The Associated Press reports that Sarah Palin will become a regular Fox News contributor.

“It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news,” Palin said today.

Kent Jones explained it this way on the 1/11/10 Rachel Maddow Show:

Thanks to Sarah Palin, we now have a whole new game book for how to get to the top of the Republican Party… #5. Embrace the Media.  Then, and this is key, claim to HATE it.  Here’s how it works.  You give interviews to the media, so you can criticize the media, so you can give interviews to the media, so you can criticize the media, so you can give interviews to the media, so you can criticize the media so much you end up AS the media.  And then, everybody wins!

Oh yes, everybody wins.  First, I’ll have to remove Fox from my list of available cable channels.  I don’t watch Fox anyway, but as my partner said to me today, “As long as I don’t have to hear THAT VOICE.”  (Hey, wasn’t Owen Meany known as THAT VOICE too?  Poor kid.)  So no chance I’ll accidentally stumble upon any Fox programming.  That’s a plus.

Anyway.

Second, there will be plenty of opportunities to get great hits on this blog as I pull future Palin quotes & enter them here under the “sheer entertainment category.” 

And finally — best of all — she’s going to talk her way right out of American politics.  I mean, unless she’s learned a hell of a lot… this is going to be the end of her.  Ding dong the witch is dead.  So as one of Palin’s Twitter followers purportedly said today, “You go girl.”

Yeah, you go girl.  Bring it!  She’s a goin’ to get up in there and gotcha herself out of politics.

Obama Won’t Deprive US of Lost Premiere

According to Mercury News, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs reassured the American public this week that Obama’s stupid little State of the Union Address won’t conflict with ABC’s regularly scheduled season premiere of Lost.

Actually, what they really said was Gibbs ”doesn’t foresee a scenario in which millions of people that hope to finally get some conclusion in ‘Lost’ are preempted by the president.”  That’s a quote from Gibbs himself, poor guy.

The New York Times also reports that Obama will focus on jobs, “if other events allow.”  Jackie Calmes’ article says Obama is, “finding that it can be hard to focus on any one issue when so many demand attention, often unexpectedly.”  While her report doesn’t say so, I image the tremendous public outcry over the State of the Union Address pre-empting Lost is one of those things that unexpectedly demands the Commander In Chief’s attention.

It’s nice to see the President honoring the will of the people, isn’t it?  And so comforting that as a nation, we’ve got our priorities straight.  But people, seriously. 

If seeing Lost at it’s reguarly scheduled time is a priority over a Constitutionally-mandated communication to the People, perhaps we deserved the Bush years after all.  Or perhaps we deserve to be babysat more, so quit complaining about our “socialist government.”  Nobody else is pushing the button every 108 minutes!  Cuz we’re damned lost, adrift at sea after a frightening crash.  Intellectuals and responsibly-educated citizens find themselves stranded on a primative island with scary smoke monsters and some chubby lottery winner with really bad luck. 

P.S.  Anyone who still thinks after all this time that the Feb 2nd premiere of Lost is going to offer us any conclusion whatsoever is likely to also believe that you really can see Russia from Palin’s house.

Yo Quiero Taco Bell Diet?

Something’s really been rubbing me wrong about the new Taco Bell Drive Thru Diet commericals.  Kind of like all those pharma commercials claiming to treat or mitigate one health condition while possibly creating other — sometimes worse conditions – like manboobs, or eyelid hair growth, or even death. 

If you haven’t seen the commercial or joined the Twitter campaign yet, here’s what’s going on.  Taco Bell has introduced us to Christine, a lovely thin woman claiming to have lost 54 pounds by reducing calories and replacing some of her usual fast food choices with items from the Taco Bell Fresco menu.  Now that the menu is available in the drive-thru, it’s got the catchy new name, “Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet.”

First thoughts:

• Taco Bell is jumping on the Jared bandwagon
• Taco Bell says the Drive-Thru Diet is not a diet. Really?  Then why call it one?  You even trade marked it! 
• Taco Bell now offers 7 “incredible” Fresco menu choices that are lower calorie & having less than 9 grams of fat.  Nine is such a tiny number, isn’t it? 
• The words “Not a low calorie food” run across the bottom of the screen while Christine talks about eating a 1250 calorie diet.   Have you ever read that story, “The Emperor’s New Clothes“?  I’m thinking about that right now.  I don’t know why.
• “Taco Bell Diet is not a weight loss program.”   Oh, doesn’t she look great in her new swimsuit? 
• Christine tells us she had to make ”realistic” choices but didn’t want to give up fast food.  No, giving up fast food is not realistic when you want to lose weight.  As Jon Stewart says, “Go ooooon…” 
• Nutritional information says the crunchy taco is 92 grams.  Who wants to weigh one for me? 
• “Pay attention to calorie and fat intake and regular exercise.”  Wait — regular exercise??  You mean, like, getting out of my friggin’ car and walking 10 feet to the counter to place my order?  Like that?
• Is the Drive-Thru Diet available during Fourth Meal?

So.  You get the idea.  But none of these things seems to be what’s really bugging me.  Not even the Frescolution campaign where customers get to whore out their email addresses & do all the rest of Taco Bell’s marketing work via Twitter in hopes of winning $550 worth of tacos.  For their diet, of course.

Dammit, now I want a Meximelt.  But I’ve taken up yet another New Year’s Resolution to lose weight so I can’t be driving over to Taco Bell just yet.  Oh wait!  I get it!  This advertising campaign started THIS WEEK.  Millions of us just put ourselves on a diet…and Taco Bell has given us an absolute free pass.  A fast food Drive Thru Diet. 

Bastards.  

© BrokenSphere / Wikimedia Commons

Things That Are Right

Photo: U.S. Air Force

I enjoy compiling lists of things that are wrong. It gives me a chance to be snarky & make fun of things. But as 2010 kicks off, I thought it might be time to refocus my energy on things that are right. Things that are good — either in a warm fuzzy sort of way, or a goofy silly fun sort of way.

Enjoy this inaugural post, “Things That Are Right”…

• The Robin Hood banker
• Tori Amos’ Palin Promise – Start printing your Tori 2012 campaign buttons now!
• Captain Sully — for landing a plane on the Hudson, and for what he continues to do now.
• Seattle Fremont neighborhood regains world record for most zombies in one place.
• Twitter account “Shitmydadsays“ becomes a sitcom
• Honest Safeway customers (wanna be neighbors??)
• Code Blue Recovery Drink
• Susan Boyle
• Julie Andrews returns to the stage!
• Passengers of Flight 253 (Dec 25, 2009)
• Standing up to corporate interests
• Yes we did!

The point is, there’s something each of us can do to make things more right.  Let’s get to it!  This is going to be a great year and a great decade!

Things That Are Wrong — So Long 2009 Version

Photo by Clare Cridland

A lot of folks have been talking about their hopes that a new decade will give us some new hope, good energy, and positive changes. We could sure use it. But there are still a few things holding us back, things that are (wait for it…) WRONG!   Here’s your 2009 New Year’s Eve edition:

• The $5 mocha
• New word:  testiculating
• Baconnaise
• Casual, uncited references to “historical evidence” of UFOs
• Articles about taxing candy, that don’t mention taxes on soda or alcohol or cigarettes or other comfort items.
• Costa Rica’s favorite pizza
• Crawling jewelry
• VISTA jokes at the Space Needle
• Sponge Bob Burger King commercial
• Ivar’s undersea billboards hoax
• Dweeting
• Patenting something called a “shoe sock having a heart shaped pad” — and then having to sue Paris Hilton for infringement
• The number of states that allow first cousins to legally marry.  (And no, all you people who teased me when I came out west, Texas is NOT on the list.  But they do have “Aggies” and they can get hitched.)
• Most common search term on this blog (especially Mondays):  “Tony Romo Crying“ 
• Polar bear plunges
• New Year’s Resolutions
• Lucky foods
• Wacky 2010 New Year’s glasses
• Did I hear you right?  Dick’s balls drop at midnight… again??

Happy New Year!

Where’s the 12th Man?

If you’re a Seahawks fan, you know how hard it is to be an football fan in Seattle right now.  It sucks.   I wish I had taken the time to count how many times the word “sucks” has appeared this season in my local paper and on blogs, etc.   But I noticed something else early on, and I did take notes.  Unflattering Seahawks Nicknames used on the web — compiled during the 2009 season:

• Seachickens
• Hawkettes (see comment #428563)
• ScrubHawks (see comment #428532)
• Seacocks (see comment #428612)
• Seattle Crybabies
• Suck-ass Seahawks
• SeaSlugs (via email)

As for Matt Hasselbeck:  Hasselsack & other names are being tossed about.

Okay, I’ll stop there.  Look, there are two things going on here that I want to address.

1) This city is demeaning this team more than they’re demeaning themselves on the field.  If you want a team to play well for the fans, this is not the way to do it.  Where’s the 12th Man?  He’s acting like a fairweather friend who doesn’t understand football, the NFL, loyalty, the concept of the “home team” or sportmanship.  The 12th Man needs to get schooled (and is, right now!).

2) Coach Mora is calling for a culture change.  And he’s correct that we need one.  Not just the team, the fans too.  More on this in the off-season when my blood pressure goes back down.  Til then, the funny insulting names will continue… but shouldn’t. 

Seattle, support your local team.  Period.  It’s the right thing for a fan to do, even in lean times.  If you just want to root for a winning team or player, there’s Fantasty Football out there for you.  

And P.S., while you’re bitching about this team, calling for Mora’s firing, complaining about “losing” Holmgren again, telling Matt he’s old & washed up, yelling about Housh being all hot air, calling for the Seahawks to leave town & go to LA, bemoaning the 3 hours you wasted watching another game… you’re just reinforcing suckdom.  Seattle, shut up.  And go to a high school football game to learn what a real football fan looks like.

Below are photos of the 2005 12th Man — the year we went to the Superbowl.  Where’s the 12th Man now?